Your career called. It wants honesty.
Career Burn turns your resume or startup pitch into a bold, funny roast—with specific fixes you can actually use before your next application, intro, or investor meeting.
Private by default · No fake praise · Actionable notes included
Sample verdict
“Impressive experience. Hidden like state secrets.”
The no-fluff pact
Specific
Every punchline points to a weak line, missing proof, vague claim, or confusing idea.
Useful
You get clear rewrite directions—not a score, generic encouragement, or motivational fog.
Yours to share
Post the funniest lines or keep the whole burn private. Your document stays your business.
Two targets. One sharp eye.
We flag empty buzzwords, buried wins, confusing chronology, and bullets that say “helped” when they should say what changed.
You leave with
A memorable roast, prioritized fixes, and rewrite prompts for your weakest sections.
We challenge fuzzy problems, unsupported market claims, feature soup, and the ask nobody can find.
1
Pick your target
Resume or startup pitch.
2
Send the material
Add context so the critique hits harder.
3
Read, laugh, rebuild
Use the notes and share only what you want.
Small spend. Useful sting.
One-time packages. No subscription, surprise upsell, or fake urgency.
Quick Singe
A fast roast for one resume or short pitch summary.
Deep Burn
A detailed roast for a full resume or pitch deck, built for a serious rewrite.
✓ Section-by-section critique
✓ Ranked action list
✓ Rewrite directions
✓ Share-ready excerpts
Ready to face the fire?
Send what you have. Get the truth, the jokes, and a clearer path to something people remember.
Get roasted →